180715

I've always been afraid of the change, of the risk. Like, what if it didn't go the way you hoped for? What if, this path could emotionally destroy you? I've been lying to myself all this time, telling myself how strong I am when instead, I've been weak. Unable to talk about the past. Unable to talk about the hurts. I'm still afraid. But I want to learn. I want to try. To try love again. But I'm crying out. I'm in pain. I'm emotionally in pain. I'm lost again. I wish I was never this weak infront of you. I wish I could always keep that strongness. I wish...I was able to deem myself ever worthy to be by your side.